loren Eric Swanson: Leading Co-dependents

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Leading Co-dependents

My good friend Rabs (Rabs R. Rabs) has started a blog. For those of you who know Rabs, you know that what you see is what you get. He is talented and passionate and in my way of thinking the world is divided into two groups--those who love Rabs and those who don't really know Rabs. You can link to his blog at www.freetolead.blogspot.com

I have long posited the notion that the test of true leadership is whether or not you can lead volunteers. I won’t go into detail now on why I believe that statement is true. There is not enough time or space to cover my thoughts in a blog, that topic is for my future book (if I ever get around to it.) But, I do want to address the one caveat to my premise – co-dependants. Co-dependants by nature will do anything to please you, or, as in my NFP (faith based) world, God. Even if God isn’t asking for this level of validation of their commitment to Him.Co-dependents come in all shapes and sizes and will often go to many levels of sacrifice to obtain your approval, or, some self imposed ideal of what God requires of them.How then do you tell if you are a leader or just have a group of co-dependants following you?1) Realize that we are all crazy (co-dependant), but some of us are crazier than others.2) Ask your friends – your true friends.If you don’t have any friends to ask – consider yourself crazier than most and if you are leading, it’s probably just a group of co-dependants.So as a touch point, be wise enough to look at the folks tagging along – are they emotionally healthy? If so, you might just be a leader.


At Tuesday, April 18, 2006 7:31:00 PM, Anonymous mark said...

Tell Rabs I still have a picture of Tone's Dead Sister in my Bible. Maybe he could use that picture on his blog?


At Tuesday, April 18, 2006 10:01:00 PM, Blogger Dan said...

You might say that leaders only work with volunteers while managers work with employees. The idea being that a leader is someone who gets you to go beyond the minimum requirements, while a manager makes sure that people don't go below the minimum requirements.


At Friday, April 21, 2006 12:04:00 AM, Blogger Jan Longmire said...

How about this proverbial twist: "Co-dependant leadership" We often put crazy people in leadership positions out of desperation rather than calling and purpose. Co-dependant leadership is chaotic since the crazy person leading is being directed by all those who serve under them.


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